There is no finishing line to perfection <33

Friday, September 08, 2006

~Love crazy~

Hee.. Taking a longer time to update.. things are falling into place nicely and I enjoy this hell of a ride in my life for once! Got together with my darling Ryan on Sunday 3rd Sep 2006. I never want to forget this day.

Yes I know what people are thinking: that I change really fast. From being depressed and in the pits over Alan and the next thing they know I've a new guy. Anyway, I don't wanna have people jumping into conclusions which aren't true. I completely gave up on Alan coz he lied to me from day one we were together and he never loved me wholeheartedly ever as he had someone else in his heart way before knowing me. All the promises I made to him, I felt like an idiot trying so hard to fulfil them trying to change myself when in fact he's the one with the problem. He made empty promises which he could never fulfill and led me to believe that he was this wonderful guy when in fact he was just making use of me. All I can feel is hatred, disgust and contempt for him and I won't ever forgive him in my entire life. Just lost all feelings for him. Guess what? I don't miss him at all. And when I recall what my ma said about why i had to choose bfs who are stupid (ie lower educational qualifications than I) I just wanna laugh. Alan is way much smarter than me and he pulled off his trick so well that almost no one could detect it except for himself. I recalled telling ma that if I chose a smart bf, he would find ways to cheat on me and hide it so well. Ironic isn't it? Anyway, he's smart to tell people a lame reason for our breakup. He probably wants to cover up that evil side of him and maintain that "Mr Nice Guy" image. I should know better. Geez, enough bitching about him. Makes me nauseous talking about this jerk.

On Mon, went over to darling's home in the afternoon. It has a very cosy feel and I met his mother and 2nd sis (22yr). Darling taught me how to play a card game and the Raw vs Smackdown PS2 game. I'm so glad he's always so patient with me, coz I'm indeed very slow in learning things, esp in games and handicraft (includes simple stuff too). Then as I had very little sleep, I laid on his bed and he brought a sandwich he made for me and a cup of water. His bed is incredible, it's so soft and comfortable I can just sleep for days if I never had to get up. He's so sweet, caring and sensitive towards me. When we are out he always puts my needs before his own. He attends to me and will ask if I'm thirsty, hungry or tired. This is the first bf I ever have who treats me with respect and love and he's incredibly romantic. Singing love songs to me and yes, he can be mushy at times but I know he isn't conjuring all this stuff. I've been looking into his eyes to detect any trace of insincerity or dishonesty and to date I can't find any. Anyway, got to speak with his mother and she's quite a friendly lady. She asked if my parents would mind the age gap I have with darling but as people know, this rebellious girl will openly defy her parents' wishes. Erm if I were to follow their wishes this is the guy I'll be dating:
1)Loaded (Lotsa $)
2)Higher education status(at least uni degree or undergraduate)
3)Older than me
4)Well mannered
Ok, I've explained to them that as yours truly does not come from a family of an upper-class status to expect me to be with people like that, it's virtually impossible. I detest rich people and I'm not some gorgeous beauty to attract their attention and also rich guys tend to be flirts and womanizers. Anyway, it's up to me to pursue my happiness not let them dictate who I marry or be with.

Darling was telling his mother that we were running late and said we could chat another day. We went to Causeway Point to look at what we could get for Keng Chong's bday. Darling got a wrist band for Keng Chong even though he doesn't know him at all. We took a train to Tangs and got a Levi's T-shirt for Keng Chong (unfortunately, have to take it to change as the size doesn't fit). I tried on this white long dress with an asymmetrical hem and dearie said I looked pretty in it. However, I didn't want to get it coz I won't be able to get darling something too. So in the end we just got the present. We went to Far East Plaza to jhave this new fish rice with some cheese chips. Darling kept feeding me and the Malay couple beside us was looking at us. I only knew this when we left the fastfood restaurant. The girl was kicking the guy's leg under the table and she said something in Malay and the guy ended up feeding her grudgingly. I admit we can be rather mushy but aren't all relationships in the beginning like this? The honeymoon period what do you expect? Actually, I'm elated to have found someone who is so similar to me and this is great since we understand how the other is feeling.I sent him to the MRT station and went home.

Went to collect the chalet's keys for Keng Chong so I had to skip the Health Psychology lecture. After that, had coffee with Ti Yan. He's a funny humorous 29 year old guy and I thought it was very enriching to have shared an insightful conversation with him. Went to the Miss Seventeen Party at Zouk with Brandon later on and man, it was a disappointment. So freaking boring. Felt like some prom school event. Anyway the hot favourite won the crown and as usual she's a mixed blood. Seems like the winner must be of mixed parentage. Waited 45min for Brandon as he knocked off late from work. I was very fortunate as I got to know a bouncer Andy Ho who was really friendly and nice and he made the wait much more tolerable. We wanted to watch movies and he suggested Barnyard. I nearly died laffing at his choice but I didn't. In the end we ended up settling for Lucky Number Slevin which was entertaining and mind-twisting. After the event, we went to Cineleisure to have dinner cum supper at the Hong Kong's cafe. Service was terrible and I could tell Brandon was really pissed. Seriously I was a little intimidated when I saw how particular he can be able where to sit and etc, but since he's a friend and not a bf I don't have to worry so much. As there was some time left, we went to NYDC where Brandon drank Earl Grey Tea. Went to catch the movie and Brandon and I were on a cab home after that.

Wed was Keng Chong's bday unfortunately he was in a very bad and pissed mood. Good thing is I could feel his pain and was better able to empathise with his feelings.Never seen him so upset before. Plus it was his bday and his friends just bo chup him. Even if he's at fault, people could try to compromise and accord him some respect. He's the bday boy affter all. Stayed overnight at the chalet with 4 of us only: Yvonne, Yang Qi, Keng Chong and I.

Yesterday, I had a free Clarin's makeover at Bugis Seiyu. Had a picture taken of me after the makeover but I think my face looks round. Eew like mooncake for Sep. Came home to rest and meet dearie at Paya Lebar MRT control station. He was late for almost an hour (he pushed back the meeting time from 815 to 9pm due to a floorball match) I was there at 815pm and I read my Urban paper and had a chat with bro while waiting for him to come at 10pm. darling was sweating profusely and i could tell he had rushed. His friends were teasing him when they saw me wiping his sweat with a tissue. I wasn't angry at him for coming late because he had a valid reason. Anyway. it's so hard to find any fault with him except that he apologises too frequently. I was telling him not to think I was so petty that he had to apologise all the time unless he does something really wrong. I don't think he can ever make me angry. My temper is quite good when we are together. He's so positive and his optimism rubs off me. I'm thankful that heaven has let him enter my life. We went Jurong East to have KFC for dinner and talked for a while before I took a cab home from his home area. Darling lives really far, the cab fare came up to $22.50 (including the midnight surcharge). This is the first time I ever took such an expensive trip.

Anyway, Terence from the pool centre called me to come down for a briefing on Sunday afternoon so that I can start working part-time at Bedok interchange. Finally, I can have more cash on hand. Need to learn to save and darling is going to help me save too. The other good news is that I got a distinction for my fourth core final year module. There is one more module's result to go and hopefully I'm able to receive the Honour's invitation letter. Seems like everything is working out the way I want my life to be. Hope this doesn't stop. Darling, i love you to bits! ;P

On Pointe @)~~

5:42 AM