There is no finishing line to perfection <33

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

~Changes~

People change, don't they? Whether it's for better or for worse, there must be a reason for changing. If people were to keep constant, the world will be much less complicated. Then again, does time ever stop even for a short moment? If it does, maybe people won't change. For there aren't any events to prompt a person to respond to it by changing himself. I've always thought there are some things which are impossible in life. Just like believing in the cliche that a leopard won't change its spots. But then again, I've been proven wrong, whether in experiencing some things first-hand or seeing things happen to others.

Finally, I've got a close to 3 week school break for a breather. And it has been great so far, getting to spend more time with darling and basically just wasting time at home. Christmas eve was alright save for some annoying asshole who don't have any brains and he sprayed some stupid pink thing on my fave white dress. F*&^ing b#$^&%*, he was damn lucky I discovered it only much later otherwise I would have hurled a string of vulgarities and grabbed his spray to direct it at his stupid face. It was so difficult to remove and I spent 20 min last night to get rid of a section and I had to rub the thing out, causing some of the threads to loosen. And I gave up choosing to soak my dress in detergent. Coz when the damn thing is dry it can't be removed.

Anyway, that asshole spoiled the whole day for Darling and I and I've made it a point NEVER to go to Orchard Road on a public holiday eve. The crowd was crazy and I was wondering why everyone wanted to congregate at the entire stretch like packed sardines making it difficult to walk even at a normal pace. Darling and I caught Death Note 2 after discovering the stain on my dress at 220 am. Although the sequel was better than the first movie, we caught many people sleeping like dead logs. I guessed it must have been the unearthly hour. We were watching it at the biggest theatre room called the Grand Cathay at The Cathay and the sheer size was overwhelming.

After the show ended around 445 am, we walked to The Kopitiam at Douby Gaut for some tim sum. Then we walked to the bus stop at Victoria Street to wait for my first bus for an hour plus and by that time I had become irritable and cranky from not sleeping. That was why my Christmas was spent at home sleeping the whole day but I don't regret that. Partly coz I've spent my entire week's pocket money on a long brown coat and an orange halter dress and there isn't any money to spare to go out. I don't mind not eating so long as I look good.

Seems like within a span of one year many things have changed. Upon reflection, I realised there are many things I should let go and not hang on to them anymore. If there are unhappy events or memories I can't forget I can try to create new and happy ones which will hopefully replace the unwanted ones eventually. I've learnt many lessons such as not to trust others so readily, have lowered expectations of others and to rely on myself rather than others. I've thrown out one stupid thing which I live by: I'd rather get hurt than to hurt someone. I've become more shrewd and I would not hesitate to hurt anyone who threatens my happiness or dares to show his intentions in hurting me. I don't believe in the nonsense anymore that good people will be rewarded coz all I see is bad people getting away with all the crap they do to others. But the funny thing is I'm no longer unhappy. I like the new me better. Not some wimpy soft fragile thing who's always taken advantage of. This new strength I derive may not make me popular but it's making me happier and it allows me to be able to handle and manage better unexpected stuff in life.

Pretty sobering thoughts from someone who's always blur about what she's thinking. Just hope 2007 would be My year and no more nasty events occurring! 24, here I come! Happy New Year to everyone and best wishes for a wonderful year ahead!

On Pointe @)~~

9:21 PM