There is no finishing line to perfection <33

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

~Rules are meant to be broken~

Stuff I got in an email from Soup Central

Puns

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

4. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

5. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." " That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "... Well, It's Not Unusual."

6. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially Inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

8. Deja-Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

9. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't see any.

10. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

11. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

12. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,"Dam!"

Actual Medical Records

These are documented statements actually found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals, which is kind of scary! Now, even if these are not true (but I'm sure they are) it's still pretty funny to think that these things were actually on someones chart!

-The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

-Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

-The skin was moist and dry.

-Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

-She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

-The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

-I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

-The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

-Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

-She is numb from her toes down.

-Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

-While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

-The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

-The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

-Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

-Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

-Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

-Patient was alert and unresponsive.

-When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

-She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

-Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

-On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

-The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

-The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

-Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

-Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

-The patient refused autopsy.

-The patient has no previous history of suicides.

-Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

-Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

-Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

-Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

-Skin: somewhat pale but present.

-The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

-Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

-Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

-Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Stuck in Sadness by Hara Estroff Marano

When it comes to differences between men and women, some are, as the French have always known, highly worthy of celebration. Others, however, are more often a source of confusion and downright misunderstanding between the sexes.

Among the latter, one of the most distinctive is invisible to the eye. Men and women differ dramatically in their approach to negative emotions such as sadness. Specifically, men avoid them and women don’t.

And therein lies a problem. Unfortunately, says psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D., women can get stuck in negative emotions, caught in a downward spiral of hopelessness and immobility. And that, she finds, is a major reason women are twice as likely as men to develop depression.

Over the past decade, Nolen-Hoeksema has found that women are far more inclined to ruminate about the stressors and disappointments they encounter -- and get stuck there. They focus on symptoms of distress and the possible causes and consequences of them, repeatedly and passively.

They go over and over their negative thoughts and feelings, examining them, questioning them, kneading them like dough. And like dough, their problems begin to swell in size.

At the very least, such rumination makes life harder. And it damages relationships along the way.

"When there is any pause in our daily activities, many of us are flooded with worries, thoughts and emotions that swirl out of control, sucking our emotions and energy down down down, We are suffering from an epidemic of overthinking -- caught in torrents of negative thoughts and emotions that overwhelm us and interfere with our functioning and well-being."

What is it that women ruminate about? The short answer is, almost everything: their appearance, their families, their careers, their health. But most of all they ruminate about their relationships and about their body.

They might begin thinking about a recent conflict with a friend: How could she have said that to me? What does she really mean by that? How should I react?

But such questions just lead to more questions. "Negative thoughts might start out about a specific event or situation but they expand and grow, spreading to more situations and leading to big questions about one’s life. And -- here’s the kicker -- they get more negative with time.

Of course, some rumination is natural, even necessary. But people who ruminate a lot amplify negative events, and usually events that happened in the past. They dredge up more negative memories from the past. They become more pessimistic about the present and more fatalistic about the future. That tilts them toward despair. And it renders them less likely to take positive action to either dispel the negativity or resolve underlying problems.

Their ruminations center on relationships, because relationships are important to women. Yet, the social support that ruminators seek from their intimates often eludes them. For one thing, ruminators often wind up torturing those closest to them with their outsized need for reassurance. Plus, the very hopelessness of ruminators makes them unpleasant to be around. So while they seek out others more, they actually get less of what they want from them.

According to Nolen-Hoeksema, the solution isn’t to just stop thinking. Many of the problems being ruminated about are real problems that have to be dealt with. The trick is to understand that overthinking is not going to help.

Here are some pointers:
Understanding that overthinking is not giving you insight, but clouding your brain.
Use positive distractions to take your attention away from overthinking for a while. Read an engrossing book or help someone else.
Physical activity is a great distraction; take a walk if you are overthinking at work.
Join the thought police -- tell yourself firmly to stop overthinking for the moment.
Tell yourself firmly that you won’t let your thoughts control you.
Reserve a specific time for overthinking; put off overthinking until the scheduled period.
Talk with others about what you are overthinking.
Write down your thoughts. Keep a computer diary of your thoughts.
Seek out activities that bring positive emotions. Get a massage. Play your favorite music. Watch a funny movie. Seek your bliss -- and use it to help.

Recovering from Rejection by Bob Livingstone

We all get rejected at different times in our lives. Our lovers unexpectedly break up with us. Friends terminate relationships sometimes without rhyme or reason. The job that seemed like a shoe-in doesn't happen. The college you banked on accepting you with open arms sends a terse rejection letter.

Rejection hurts whether you are prepared for it or not. There is a whole series of emotions you go through when you are snubbed. These emotions are similar to what one goes through while grieving. At first it is extremely difficult to take in the rejection experience. It often feels like being totally abandoned and left to fend for yourself. You end up in denial. The rejection does not feel like it actually happened. It feels surrealistic, a trauma someone else is facing, not you.

The next emotion experienced is rage. You are angry with the person who rejected you. You may feel this anger intently or it may be experienced as more distant. Often the rage becomes self-directed. You express anger at yourself for not being "good enough" for the rejecter. You dwell on second guessing and wondering what could have been. You blame yourself for his leaving and at that point you are indeed broken hearted.

The next stage, as grief expert Elizabeth Kubler Ross explains, is bargaining. You say to yourself, "If I keep living the clean life, she will come back to me." If I stop smoking, I will be reunited with my boyfriend." The next stage is depression when you begin to realize that the person who rejected you is not coming back. This stage is filled with sadness where the tears fall and the longing ache for the rejecter is realized.

Bitterness is also part of depression. It is at this point that you feel extremely resentful that you gave so much of yourself to your lover and now he is gone. You also realize that your vision of your former lover is tainted and he is not the virtuous person that you believed him to be. it feels like he bought the heaviest boots he could find and stomped all over your heart.

The final stage is acceptance where you understand that the time to dwell on this loss is over and it is time to move on.

These stages don't have any set sequence and you can experience more than one simultaneously. It also takes time to work through rejection. It is not a matter of snapping your fingers in order to instantly remove the pain.

Some folks are so devastated by rejection that they avoid social situations or other settings that may lead to rejection. They learn to not take any risks that even hint at the possibility of becoming emotionally wounded. There lives become safe, but lacking passion and fulfillment.
Other folks attempt to escape the pain of rejection through drugs, alcohol, overwork or other nonproductive means of escape.

Oftentimes the most recent rejection triggers intense memories of earlier rebuffs. Most likely the earlier rejections have not been worked through and resolved. These rejections are experienced as abrupt, horrifying abandonment.

We are not taught by our parents or society at large how to effectively deal with rejection. First of all, we need to be aware that rejection is an essential facet of life. If we take chances and risks like trying out for a play, writing a book, applying to college or asking out the attractive man, there is the distinct possibility that none of these pursuits will work out. Will your feelings be hurt? Of course they will. But if you don't follow your dreams, your life will be restrictive and perhaps most of all, boring.

The second truth about facing rejection is that you can recover from it. However, you will never resolve this loss if you push it away through denial or other self-destructive behavior.

You can take the following steps to recover from rejection:

1. Be aware of the different stages of grief you are experiencing. You may be experiencing denial, anger, bargaining, depression, bitterness or acceptance. Knowing what stage you are going through help put your loss in perspective and provide a road map for recovery.

2. Keep repeating to yourself that rejection is part of life and if you continue to pursue your dreams, they will eventually come true. I vividly remember getting stacks of rejection letters from literary agents and publishers. I did feel hopeless at times, but I knew that rejection was as natural as the sun rising and if I kept pursuing my dream of being a published author, it would happen and sure enough it did.

3. Make plans to actively face the pain of rejection by writing about it in a journal, talking to your friends and family. Don't isolate yourself. Talking and writing about your pain are proactive means for reaching resolution, while isolation and silence prevents the pain from being felt and released.

4. Begin a regular exercise program and feel the pain of the rejection eventually move through your body until you feel the weight of it lift and float away. When you are exercising, the endorphins are kicking in and you are able to face rejection in a calm, confident manner that does not occur when you are sedentary.

Books I wanna read

1. The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford
Impress your friends with your newfound knowledge of capitalism. How buying a cup of Starbucks coffee can affect the US economy or why rents in London are so high are explained using simple terms and excellent analogies.

2. For One More Day by Mitch Albom
Albom spins a heartwarming tale about a mother's undying love through her suicidal son's point of view.

3. The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Set in post-apocalyptic US, a man and his son fight to find hope. There are accounts of radioactive poisoning, suicides and cannibalism. Bleak, but you won't be able to put this down.

4. The Deviant's Advantage by Ryan Mathews

Movies I wanna watch but are not in theatres anymore

Stranger than Fiction

Battle of Wits

The Painted Veil

Pan's Labyrinth

Apocalypto

Breaking and Entering

.45

Harsh Times

Freedom Writers

Hannibal Rising

happily N'ever after

The Number 23

Music & Lyrics

Once in a Summer

Little Children

The Fountain

Half Nelson

Volver

The Reaping

Reign over Me

Shrek the Third

Eye in the Sky (Chi)

Love and Honour (Jap)

Nightmare Detective (Jap)

13: Game of Death (Thai)

The Girl Who Leapt through Time (Jap ani)

Black Sheep

Invisible Target (Chi)

Hairspray

My Name is Justine

The Game Plan

200 Pounds Beauty (Kor)

The Bow and Time (Kor)

The History Boys

Sicko

Run Lola Run

Magnolia

The Good Girl

The Talented Mr Ripley

Good Will Hunting

Donnie Darko

Igby Goes Down

The Graduate

The Company
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Don't, never and shouldn't. All absolute words I used in my conversations and thought processes frequently not too long ago. What a long time it took for me to realise that extremes hardly apply in real life and before you turn your back to an open door, you would have to look through it to see what lies behind that door and decide if you are going to do that.

I haven't been blogging much due to factors such as being too lazy :P, having no idea how to put to words what I have in mind to write about, spending too little time at home to actually sit down in front of the desktop and blog, my brother who has been hogging the desktop (ya I do have a lappy but it keeps hanging as I think it has been infected with all sorts of spyware and adware though I'm lucky it hasn't encountered a nasty virus yet) and a lack of mood to do so. If you realise, people tend to blog in a prolific manner when they are experiencing negative emotions such as sadness, anger and disappointment more so than when they are experiencing uplifting moods, so it is a good thing if you see your friends blogging less often. Of coz there are exceptions to the rule, and it may also mean that your friend is too depressed to even give a shit about blogging so it's good to check on them once in a while.

I've been doing well since the last time I blogged and I foresee my life to be getting better than before with a new improved outlook on my life. This is attributed mostly to knowing and getting together with my dearest soulmate Joey on the 11th of Nov.

A breakdown of what I've been up to:

10 Nov (Sat)
Met Joey at my home bus stop and we headed for lunch in the afternoon before ballet class. I was a little surprised to see him carry this guitar which looked pretty bulky. We had bak kut teh soup, yong tau foo and some veg at this bak kut teh stall at Parkway Parade at the food court. I have never tried this stall before and the food did not disappoint. After our lunch Joey asked if there was a quiet spot and I suggested East Coast Park as it was pretty near.

Joey looked rather awkward when he decided to give a long speech on human rights (just kidding, dearie is so gonna kill me for this :p). Actually he was just expressing his feelings and he turned red for a very long time. Joey sang this song Qing Fei De Yi as he strummed on the guitar. He explained that the song lyrics was part of how he felt and that words can't express fully how he really feel. To cut a long story short, he popped the question I already knew he would ask prior to this second date. Seems as if we have some kinda psychic connection sometimes.

To tell the truth I didn't know whether to say yes or no directly as I know I am insecure and carry a lot of emotional baggage despite me liking to think I am over everything in the past. My apologies to my poor dearie who had to wait like almost 8 hours plus for my reply as I told him I needed to consider things properly. And perhaps my mind would be clearer after a workout from ballet class. So Joey accompanied me to Siglap South CC and he spent the time reading while waiting for me to finish ballet class.

After ballet class, we decided to have 2 piping hot bowls of Katong laksa and we popped by Parkway Parade again to satisfy our craving for ice cream at Swensons. Joey got a pint of cookies and cream ice cream which we took to East Coast Park and we gobbled the whole thing as we were chatting. It wasn't till ten minutes past 12 that I gave a Yes to Joey's question. he seemed pretty ecstatic and we grabbed a cuppa Mocha from Coffee Bean. Joey walked me home from East Coast Park and he took a cab home round 4+ am.

11 Nov (Sun)
Met dearie after his tuition finished at 5 and we had dessert at the hawker centre near my home. We went to play the swing at Katong Park before it started getting dark around 7pm. We walked at East Coast Park again.

13 Nov (Tue)
My first concert and it was Linkin Park. Must thank pa for the $128 ticket which was a wonderful 24th birthday pressie. They sounded even better live alas it was rather short at 1 hour.

14 Nov (Wed)
Went to Ikea with dearie for some Swedish meatballs with jam and it was flavourful. Went back to his home to cook spagetti together with the stuff we bought from the supermarket.

16 Nov (Fri)
Did a few jigsaw puzzles with dearie and we watched Windstruck a depressing Korean romance movie on DVD which made me teared like crazy.

17 Nov (Sat)
Met dearie for lunch and he sent me to ballet class again. Stayed over at his place for the first time.

18 Nov (Sun)
Watched Sugar and Spice with dearie at The Cathay about bittersweet first love.

19 Nov (Mon)
Had a karaoke session with dearie and his friends Keni, Jeff, Ke Ren. Then headed for some dimsum supper at Geylang with Ke Ren, Jeff and Jesse. Thereafter, dearie had overnight mahjong session with the 3 guys at Jesse's home which was just a few blocks away from my home while I read 2 issues of Maxim.

20 Nov (Tue)
Went to dearie's ma salon to trim my hair and dearie had his trimmed too.

21 Nov (Wed)- 22 Nov (Thu)
Cleared dearie's room together with him.

23 Nov (Fri)
Watched Beowolf with dearie.

24 Nov (Sat)
Met Nic and Su for the first time and dearie and I had lunch with them at a foodcourt before he sent me to my ballet class.

25 Nov (Sun)
Spent like almost 3 hours talking to dearie's dad while dearie was studying. Bought some lunch from Manhattan's Market at PS and some gourmet chocs to boost his morale. He seemed quite happy :).

26 Nov (Mon)
Met dearie after his exam at PS for dinner at Carl's Junior before heading to Bugis for shopping. Got a pretty black Lolita dress for $65 and 2 black T shirts with those ubiquitous slogans for $16. Bought some Qoo drinks with this free Qoo toy which I gave to dearie for him to hang at his window. Dearie got to buy a black long sleeved shirt with a skinny tie.

27 Nov (Tue)
Spent time with dearie at home.

28 Nov (Wed)
Met Stephanie for lunch at Sushi Tei at Paragon. Was pretty bloated and then went to meet Jasmine at 6pm for some shopping in Bugis. Got a pretty green floral brolly from Takashimaya for $10.90 but I've since lost it after using it once. Got a pink and a white dress which cost $20 each and this beautiful pair of black dress shoes for $28. Had a brownie at a cafe before going to meet dearie with Nick, Su and Denise on the train to his home.

29 Nov (Thu)
Slacked at dearie's home again till it was time to go for ballet class.

dearie wearing his snake as a scarf

30 Nov (Fri)
Had steamboat for dinner at Marina South with Wee Boon, Danny and dearie. As I had a heavy lunch of pasta I was the only one who didn't eat. During dinner, it was very difficult to watch live prawns jumping out of the container and the hot oil and it startled me. I conclude Wee Boon is a cruel person :P How can anyone eat something which is cooked alive? Thankfully dearie's prawns were all dead before he cooked them. Later on, we went to the arcade to play and careless me actually dropped my wallet at the Photohunt machine near the cashier. I only discovered it was not with me when I was about to board the bus to Vivocity with the guys. Dearie ran quite fast and thank god it was still there.

We caught The Heartbreak Kid as we couldn't get tickets to another movie. It was crass humour but anything with Ben Stiller is good. Initially we had no idea how to get to Orchard until we realised that we could take a Night Rider to Orchard. All of us managed to catch the late night buses while Danny, dearie and I nearly ended up at somewhere else after we nearly miss the correct stop.

I always knew they have a thing for each other.

Wee Boon, I, dearie and Danny giving forced smiles

1 Dec (Sat)
Went to meet dearie after rehearsal and we ended up at Marina Square where I got a cute bra set with ballet shoes and little ribbons at $14.90. Headed to dearie's home where I met his buddies who were waiting for him. Had supper and dearie helped Mike wash his car while 3 other people were looking on.

2 Dec (Sun)
Finally the ballet performance which was wasting so much of class time and I couldn't work on my technique for quite a while. My role was quite extra since I did like so little less than 30 seconds for a 8 minute dance. Dearie came to watch anyway and we headed off to Parkway for a KFC dinner thereafter. The X'mas decorations were pretty, and I love the snowman family. Mike gave me us a lift home after we are done walking.

3 Dec (Mon)
Watched Lars and The Real Girl about a guy who has a sex doll for a girlfriend with dearie at Vivocity. Quite relevant to what I studied in school. It seemed like a case study on someone with some psychiatric illness.

4 Dec (Tue)
was pretty excited at my first cooking class in the morning where I learnt to make a christmas dessert which dearie got to eat. Thankfully it tasted ok. I was the youngest woman for the cooking class which wasn't surprising as the class was for women below 55 years and I got to use an egg beater for the first time and learn how to make custard sauce. After the cooking class, there was a segment where we learned how to do christmas decoration which is the snowman below. The lady who gave the demonstration was at least 70 and she was rather nimble with her hands.

After cooking class went to meet up Elfie and his parents, with sylvia. Had dinner with them after settling some stuff at the Bedok food centre further up from Upper East Coast Road. Had some chicken chop and got some for dearie as he was starving.

8 Dec (Sat)
Had a group outing at Escape Theme Park with Nicholas, Su, Bro and sylvia, with dearie and myself. Admission was really cheap at $7 per person. We had loads of fun there however, the Viking ride made Nicholas develop a headache and they had to leave earlier after lunch. Dearie loved the go kart thingie. I was the slowest driver on Advanced course. lol.

Nick and Su are a cute couple

Dearie had a part of his face eaten by a zombie which was set loose at Subway while we were having breakfast

Elfie and Sylvia

Elfie and i making funny faces

dearie and Nic look really strange here. One is like a hungry wolf and Nic looks like he is being poked by the devil on his back

dearie and Bro pretending to be thinking

Su giving Nick a head massage after he got the headache

Bro always say Sylvia and I look like sisters. Coz we both have dimples?

Su and I

Well, the next couple to leave around 4pm was dearie and I as I had to go for ballet class. It was a mad rush home and then I had to have a stomach ache at the wrong time. Was late and I gave up waiting for Phoebe and decided to take the bus without her after missing 2 buses while waiting for her at the bus stop.Dearie sent me there before heading home while I went for class.

After class, I met dearie to have an early Christmas dinner at Debby's home. Can't remember all the people there save for Jeff and Jesse whom I have met before. The dinner was ok except that it was kinda expensive at $26 per person. Dearie and I managed to catch the last bus to my home when we left slightly after 12 midnight. A pretty long and tiring day for me.

The mini logcake really look too good to be eaten. Sadly the poor gingerbread men were divided among some really hungry people.

dearie and I outside Debby's home

9 Dec (Sun)
Went shopping at Leisure Park and it was shoes galore. I managed to buy a pair of Nike sports shoes, a tank top and cardio pants at $119.70 in all at the Nike warehouse sale. Plus I got a pair of metallic gold mary janes for $29.90 and 4 pairs of flipflops at $3 each. Dearie looked rather bored when I was rummaging through stuff at the Nike sale. The good thing was he managed to get a pair of brown shoes for himself.

We were a little hungry after all the shopping so we decide to go to KFC for some snack. However we took a road less travelled on dearie's idea and we ended up having to climb over stuff and navigating our way through a drain. It was a perilous journey which nevertheless was a mini adventure.

10 Dec (Mon)
Went shopping at Compass Point to get some Ferrero Rocher chocolates for dearie's ma which he said were her fave, some cute mobile phone accessories costing some $9 and a liquid eyeliner from Watsons which was really cheap at $9.90. Had dinner at KFC before we headed to dearie's home. Happened to bump into Nicholas at Comics Connection.

11 Dec (Tue)
Our first month together and dearie's ma's Birthday! His ma and grandma whipped up a feast with steamed crabs, prawns, sotong balls and pork. It was a rather lively affair and dearie and I gorged ourselves silly on donuts from Munchy Donuts in addition to the heavy dinner.

12 Dec (Wed)
Went to Kovan for some window shopping. I got a 1000 piece Final Fantasy jigsaw puzzle for dearie which he liked very much while he bought a big frame for it. However, the quality of the jisaw left little to be desired as the pieces look soggy and the colours were pretty dull. It took dearie just a few days to complete the puzzle as he inverted it and fixed it according to the alphabets behind. I didn't want to do the puzzle initially as I was rather put off by the poor quality. Anyway, eventually I did put a little finishing touch in helping dearie and both of us were relieved after completing it. Not before it frustrated us crazy as it couldn't fit in the frame properly and we kept adjusting it for hours. We gave up and now a whole row on the left edge is just taken out from the frame and placed against dearie's wall on his cupboard.

13 Dec (Thu)
Trimmed my fringe at the hairdresser's shop for $2 before meeting dearie. I realised she didn't cut straight across and the underlying layer of red peeked through the left side and I was convinced I looked pretty weird coz it wasn't even. I had to get ma to correct the mistake the next day as I was pretty distressed. And the best part was she was ma's friend! i will never get her to trim my fringe again. Horrors.

Had delicious western food for dinner with dearie at a coffeeshop just opposite Katong Mall before he had to give tuition and I had to proceed for ballet class. Prior to that, was shopping at this accessories shop which I have always wanted to step into but didn't get a chance to. Spent $61.70 on a gold sequinned bag, a bracelet, a pink wallet and a bag charm.

14 Dec (Fri)- 16 Dec (Sun)
First period of stay at Pfitzer. First day was ok but the second day when I had to take 5 tablets caused a headache at the back of my head which lasted for almost 30 hours into Sun afternoon. Had the first dispute with dearie. Didn't feel very pleasant.

dearie and I in our lab rat attire

where lab rats are being monitored in the recreation room while they play X Box or PlayStation games while others play pool

Same recreation room where lab rats get glued to movies

16 Dec (Sun)
Dearie brought me to the area near Serangoon bus interchange for dinner and some shopping at Serangoon Centre. I was disappointed that the chicken chop I had ordered was not as tasty as dearie had described while his steak was so tiny. Later on we shopped around Kovan too. The retail damages came up to $131. I blew my money on handphone accessories, clothes as usual and accessories.

18 Dec (Tue)
Met dearie in PS to collect tickets to the Swan Lake ballet. Had a very expensive lunch at this Jap restaurant due to a famished pig who ended up eating expensive sushi on red plates like unagi as she couldn't wait for her set lunch to arrive. :P the set lunch was $5++ each but all the extra sushi on the conveyor belt made the bill add up to about $40. Then after we shopped around and I bought some clothes from the bazzar outside the open space in front of PS. I spent like $26 on these 3 items.

19 Dec (Wed)
Spent time with dearie. Can't rem did what.

20 Dec (Thu)

Went shopping with dearie at Rivervale mall. Ended up buying 3 magazines, a pink nightie, a 2008 horoscope book.

21 Dec (Fri)- 23 Dec (Sun)

2nd period of stay at Pfitzer. Thank god the one tablet had little effect on me compared to the crap 5 capsules the week before. As we were deprived of good food we just had to have KFC for breakfast on the third day as all they gave was bread with butter. WTF. No appetite to eat those.

Caught Swan Lake by the Singapore Dance Theatre at the Esplanade Theatre with dearie and it was amazing seeing Natalie Clarke dance with so much emotion and great technique. For her to get to the principal dancer status, it was an arduous journey of about 10 years as compared to Xia Hai Ying's metoric rise in like 2 years. She made such a great improvement from years ago when she was in the corps de ballet when I watched some Anyway, it was really a suay day as my heel got caught on the lace hem of my white dress while I was getting down from the bus which i wore for the first time on that day, tearing part of the lace. It made me really fed up as I couldn't walk properly and all the morons at the bus stop could do was stare instead of trying to help. I ended up having to hop and try to get the lace off my shoe as i couldn't put my foot down at all amist a drizzle. Dearie spent $15 on the programme booklet and a pointe shoe keychain for me. How can that flimsy booklet cost $10? It doesn't make sense. I remember years ago it used to be $3 or $4.

24 Dec (Mon)

Watched I am Legend with dearie at TM. Played Photohunt at Century Square, had dinner, walked around before I headed home.

25 Dec (Tue)
Christmas! Went over dearie's place around 10+ pm. Dearie and I went cycling to the mac's at Rivervale Point. Can't remember if I got the place name right. Dearie's bike was pretty irritating with the chain dropping so often intially till he found the solution to it. I wasn't feeling very good as I had a stitch and I was frustrated trying to cycle properly. Dearie thought I was angry at him which wasn't the case.

26 Dec (Wed)
Bro's birthday! Dearie, I, Elfie and his gf celebrated by having fun at Wild Wild Wet till 4 pm. Had KFc before Dearie and I headed his home. However, as we were too tired we fell asleep and did not make it for Elfie's birthday party. Sorry bro.

27 Dec (thu)

Quiet day at dearie's home.

28 Dec (Fri) -30 Dec (Sun)

Went in Pfitzer for the 3rd period again. Had some genuine fun on the first night playing Hide and Seek cum catching near to midnight with 5 other guys and dearie. As dearie was always drinking water or walking so slowly we got caught twice. Josh definitely should win a prize for hiding behind stuff and making everyone look for him all the time. As usual, crap food and boredom prevailed till checking out time. The good thing was cheese and chicken ham sandwich was back for breakfast on Sun at Pfitzer so we didn't have to waste money on breakfast. :P

30 Dec (Sun)

Dearie and I went to Kovan for dinner at Yoshinoya and shopping. Bought a short white floral halter dress for $20.

31 Dec (Mon)

Watched Aliens vs Predator 2 with dearie at TM and he was rather excited about it as he is an Aliens fan. We had both watched the first one and we agreed it wasn't really good. Seriously, this sequel was not as lame but not so good either. I would give it a pretty average rating. After the movie, we walked around the pasar malam and dearie managed to buy a pair of jeans for $15 which was really cheap.

Went over to Mike's home for BBQ with some leftover food from Sat. As we were stuck at Raffles Hospital for the study on Sat, dearie had to miss out on a gathering with his friends. We caught an arthouse local film on Central which was kinda funny. Took a Mercedes cab to dearie's home around 2+ am.

1 Jan (Tue)

Spent a quiet day with dearie before heading home.

4 Jan (Fri)

Went Tampines bus interchange with dearie to have dinner around 9.30pm. Recommended my fave stall to him and he seemed to like the food very much. After dinner, we went to Century Square to play Photohunt at the arcade before heading to his home. Dearie got half a chicken which we shared and we watched this really lame show called Visible Secrets on DVD.

5 Jan (Sat)

Went with dearie to have lunch at the Kopitiam in PS as we wanted to try out this Korean foodstall. Dearie had black pepper beef while I had oysters with rice. The soup was pretty gross but the main course is not bad. After lunch I went home to get ready for ballet class which finally started after a 2 week break. Miss Ho didn't give us much of a break today especially towards the end and we were struggling to catch our breaths from exercise to the next.

This day was a love myself day as I went shopping alone at Parkway Parade. I got a pink halter top from Ebase for $8 and Asience shampoo and conditioner which I desperately need for my hair which was dry as hay. Around 9 plus i was rather famished so I had dinner at the bak kut teh stall at the foodcourt. My meal of bak kut teh soup, a braised egg and kaillan with oyster sauce was quite filling. Got a copy of Men's Health at the newstand before taking a bus home. Had a bad headache upon reaching home which did not stop till I fell asleep rather late as I wanted to catch this prison movie set in the 1930s with Tony Leung Chiu Wai in it. To sum up the show it was painful to watch. Especially when you see the corruption and oppression the poor and weak have to suffer under the rich and powerful. I forgot the title of the show which is a pity. :(

6 Jan (Sun)

Did some household chores before meeting dearie. We had KFC for dinner at Hougang and walked around the neighborhood before heading to the pasar malam at Sengkang with my fave oyster mee sua and got a black pepper chicken drumstick and cheese tofu to munch for supper as dearie and I get hungry easily at night. Dearie complained that I choose Warbooking over him. Sorry dearie, I shouldn't neglect you. Sigh maybe I am really addicted to Warbook. Ok I will stop playing it by destroying my kingdom once I reach Level 50. Being stuck at level 34 now how long will that take?

7 Jan (Mon)
Dearie and I went to Vivocity for lunch at the food court before catching Nanking at GV Europa at 3.10pm. Caution: please don't order claypot laksa there unless you relish spending $6.90 for a huge bowl with extremely small cockles. I was rather shocked when the guy keyed in $6.90. There wasn't any prices listed on the board. Moral of story: Should have listened to dearie about eating the scissors cut curry rice instead. So the whole meal was spent eating and complaining.

Nanking was a depressing documentary. Some of the pictures and videos were heartwrenching. However, dearie and I do not see eye to eye on issues of history as he prefers to stay neutral while I preferred to take sides which is not uncommon as I always have extreme views on anything. After the movie, we went to get 3 jigsaw puzzles and frames from Daiso before we headed to Leisure Park for dinner. I had chicken chop baked rice with cream sauce and my fave barley with gingko for dessert while dearie had black pepper beef rice. The baked rice was just right: the cream sauce did not overwhelm and the chicken chop was tasty.

We had mango and blueberry flavoured yogurt at this yogurt place which Sheela had recommended. The mango was sweet but the blueberry flavour was too sour.

Anyway, found out that the reason my $100 cheque from Pfitzer was missing from my mailbox was the stupid person from finance department wrote the address of Raffles Hospital instead of my home address. WTF. And I was wondering why everyone had gotten their cheques at the end of last year while mine was stuck in their pile of mail. Got to talk to Jessie and it's great to hear her voice as she had taken leave till last week for a month as she had to go through a knee operation. Glad to know she is recovering well and she sounded cheerful as ever. Heard that Danny is working at MOS from her but she did not have idea what he was working as for he was being mysterious again by not divulging what it was.

8 Jan (Tue)

Slept and slept like a pig at dearie's home before I woke up at around 8pm to get some cheese tofu, shark's fin soup and otah at the pasar malam at Sengkang before we went to Compass Point to have dinner. Dearie had pork chop while I had a hotplate of black pepper fish which were huge servings at the food court. Dropped by at Metro for the first time there and I tried on 2 evening dresses (white and black respectively) which were quite puffed up at the bottom. Apparently this type of cutting is not dearie's cup of tea and he said they don't flatter me at all. We also saw couple T-shirts and the Romeo and Juliet ones caught Dearie's eye.

Been spending so much time with dearie, it will be a little difficult to get used to seeing him less often when his school term starts next Mon. truly enjoyed every moment, big or little with him whether we are cooking some stuff, doing jigsaw puzzles together, watching a movie, shopping or eating together. Although there are times when we don't see eye to eye on some issues, it doesn't make me love him any less. The person who can make me cry so hard and evoke extreme emotions must be someone who tries to understand me even though he may never gain full comprehension. And I know how hard it is for you to quit smoking and this is like day 12 of abstinence. Hope you will perservere coz whatever behavioural changes from the withdrawal symptoms will soon pass and things can only get better. I suppose our love is meant to fit like all these beautiful puzzles we have been working on below and we can't do without each other if one piece is missing. Sorry dearie for all the times my insecurity has caused you grief and the times we exchange unkind words. Despite the hiccups here and there, I never stopped loving you.

On Pointe @)~~

1:12 AM