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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

~Boy and Girl

Girl
If I give him half my heart, would he be able to tell it's not whole?
I try my best to make him happy but deep inside I can't help feeling that this love will never exceed the one I had once before.
I love him and I do things he wants even if it's not something I like or desire
I can't tell him the truth sometimes because I do not want him to be hurt.

Boy
I experience this heaviness in my heart
I know her love is true
And I see her efforts in trying to keep us together
But does she know I can tell when she is embellishing lies and I can see through them?
It's painful that we both have to pretend
She hiding her true self and her true intentions and feelings
While I try not to expose her
I know I'm not her most wonderful lover
And no matter what I do I will not be able to match up to her past experience
The heart aches knowing that I can never be her ideal even if I want it so much to be
For her or for myself or both
I ask not of her to do the most spectacular deeds or exert great effort to pander to my expectations of what I want
It's only sincerity and honesty that I seek
The truth hurts but the lies are the ones which tear me apart
I'm selfish to ask that she gives me her all
For I've already given her my broken heart
Love isn't meant to be a fair exchange
Neither can it be forced
I do not have the right to ask her to let go of something special
When she clings on to it so dearly even when the wondrous moments have long passed
I have forsaken what I have lost
For if it was mine to be it wouldn't be gone in the first place
It was meaningful then but it is meaningless now
I can't look back for I've made the choice
I don't want to be engulfed by dead memories
All I wish is to live in the now and after with her
I love her more than she thinks I do
I can't shield myself from insecurities
When feelings of doubt and having to hide run amok in my crazy mind
I don't know what I should do
Brush off what I'm feeling and continue to pretend that all these don't exist
And that the truth doesn't really mean a thing
Try to deceive myself
And be like what the others say
Turn a blind eye and deaf ear
To maintain the peace
Love is more complicated than that
Hasn't it always been?

On Pointe @)~~
9:36 AM