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Thursday, July 31, 2008

~Intolerance

I'm down with a cold again within 2 weeks and I'm finally going to take a break for once from my tuition as the drippy nose and sore throat is too uncomfortable for me to continue what I've been doing.

Fell asleep quite early last night after turning in to bed angry and upset. Maybe what you said was true that I should be more selfish. Because I realise I've been putting up with too many things which I've been pretending to turn a blind eye and deaf ear to. Trying to make excuses for people when in some way or another they are deficient or disappointed you is so not wise; you only make yourself miserable but they don't see a need to explain themselves nor try to improve things. Pretending to be ignorant does not make problems go away nor make you feel better, it makes you frustrated and upset when you are unable to speak about what you know. I'm bestowed with a gift I never wanted coz I view it more a curse which brings me more pain than joy. True I don't have to tolerate nor endure many things in my life coz I do have a choice. By thinking that the people around me never really mattered and I can just rest easy as they won't be able to induce negative emotions or feelings in me when their actions are inconsiderate or hurting. Because I learnt that how I feel is really just my problem and no one is responsible for the way you feel when you let them affect you. But sometimes they intrude your space and there is no way you can avoid that. Backstabbers and psychopaths come to mind and a less serious but no less guilty type are inconsiderate people who give little or no regard for others who live around them.

Why is it that some people have to pay for other's mistakes or bad actions? Go figure this shitty unfair world when the bad gets away with everything while the good suffer. Believing that you can make a little difference in this place or keeping an open mind is too difficult when the world is flawed.

On Pointe @)~~
4:48 AM