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Thursday, October 09, 2008

~Destined for pretence

I realise how emotionally fragile I can be when I absorb the moods of people around me. And how adept I am at faking normalcy that sometimes I'm not even aware of it until someone points that out or I come to sudden realisation when I feel out of sorts. I've been indulging in my whims of spending and splurging on stuff which may be what I need or do not need and every time I get back home, the temporary euphoria gives way to guilt and a sense of voidness. The tangible which I can see, feel, taste, touch or smell provides temporary relief from the extreme sensitivity which a melancholic temperment brings. The more I struggle against this war, the more detached I will behave so as to numb what I truly feel. It is not right to be feeling down when everything is going right, isn't it? There are obligations towards loved ones and friends who are concerned for your wellbeing so why would you want them to worry? Don't you want them to be happy? Actors who can't detach themselves from their roles meet with tragic ends. I really want a good ending.

On Pointe @)~~
1:37 AM