There is no finishing line to perfection <33

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

~Love Colors

What kind of lover are you?

Understanding your love style will help you to find, or rediscover, your perfect match

Dr Rebecca McGuire-Snieckus

You pine for a quiet night in; your partner is expecting flowers, caviar and a small orchestra. Or maybe you think you're always unlucky in love? Psychology research tells us that we all experience being “in love” in different ways - whether we fall madly in lust, see each other as best friends or demand lots of affection. When our partner has a similar or compatible style, we're love matched and our relationship should flourish naturally. When they conflict, we're likely to feel confused and disappointed.

We each tend to be a blend of different love styles. To find your dominant type, fill in our questionnaire by choosing the statement that most applies to you. Add up the number of times you choose each colour and identify the one that is your top score (or two or three if you have the same scores). Then estimate your partner's style by reading each profile.

You are more put off by:
Red: Certain physical features such as big ears and crooked teeth
Violet: Someone looking for a commitment

After a break-up, you tend to:
Yellow: Remain good friends
Purple: Feel angry, upset and find it hard to move on

You are more likely to:
Green: Break up with someone because it isn't going anywhere
Pink: Stay with someone, even when you're dissatisfied, because they need you

You meet a stunning person at a party who's really keen. You think:
Red: I'm in love
Yellow: I'd like to find out more

After a date, you:
Purple: Analyse the evening, worried about what they really think about you
Green: Analyse their suitability and whether you will bother seeing them again

Other people would be more likely to describe you as:
Violet: Free-spirited
Pink: Generous

If single, your Facebook status would read:
Yellow: Looking for friendship
Green: Looking for a serious relationship

Your partner is out late and not answering their mobile phone. You think:
Purple: They're up to something they shouldn't be
Pink: I hope they're having fun

You would prefer:
Green: One compatible partner
Violet: Many delightful dalliances

When in love, you feel:
Red: Dreamy - this is bliss
Purple: Anxious - can it last?

The secret of a lasting relationship is:
Yellow: Play together, stay together
Pink: Putting your partner first

A friend claims to have the perfect match for you. You say:
Red: What do they look like?
Green: What do they do?

In a relationship, you think:
Violet: Everyone has secrets, right?
Yellow: There's nothing to hide

Love is:
Red: A burning desire
Pink: Unconditional

You prefer a partner who:
Violet: Keeps you guessing
Purple: Calms your suspicion

Add up your scores to reveal your dominant love style(s):
Red: Passionate lover
Violet: Good-time lover
Yellow: Steady lover
Purple: Extreme lover
Green: Checklist lover
Pink: Unconditional lover

RED: PASSIONATE LOVER (That's moi!)
For you, love is truly, madly, deeply or not at all.
Whether it's tall skinny Irishmen with broken noses or short, gap-toothed blondes, you're likely to have a good idea of your “type”. You can find it hard to overlook physical shortcomings (“his eyebrows meet in the middle”) but that's because you know what you want and how slim your chances are of finding it - so when you do, you are overwhelmed with excitement.

If hooked, you surrender yourself to this beautiful and exciting stranger. You want to study their features, drink in their smell, talk endlessly about their thoughts and feelings. You are relaxed in love, relishing the experience. In the beginning you thrive on frequent physical presence, intense emotional expression and sensual contact. Who said romance was dead?

A lasting relationship with you is most likely to be with someone who shares your fervour, maybe another “passionate lover”. Best to avoid the “steady lovers” (not romantic enough) and the “good-time lovers” (not intense enough).

Best match:
Passionate and Extreme

If your partner is a passionate lover:
Do not subject your relationship to “tests” or lengthy separations. Your partner needs frequent contact and lots of affection.

Famous passionate lover:
When Victoria Beckham met her husband David, she described it as “love at first sight” and said: “We drove around in his car and would sit in car parks and talk for hours. We didn't need to go out for meals. We didn't need to go out for drinks. We just wanted to be together.” Think of Meg Ryan in almost any of her roles.

VIOLET: GOOD-TIME LOVER
For you, love is for fun.

A master of flattery, wit and charm, you take a playful approach to love. Refusing to rely on anyone and reluctant to allow anyone to rely on you, you don't get too serious or involved - and without a strict notion of an “ideal” partner, pretty well anyone is game.

A rover and collector of experiences, you look back on flings with pleasure and move on fast when the pleasure has gone. If someone is no longer interesting to you, you are likely to look for a more challenging partner somewhere else. While you may delight in shy hesitations, you won't pursue a losing game - after all, there are plenty more fish in the sea.

People tend to know what they are getting into with you, as you try to discourage partners from building unrealistic expectations. You are careful not to see anyone too often or to include them in your long-term plans. Nothing puts you off more than a needy, clingy partner who demands to know where you are all the time.

It's best to stick with other “good-time lovers” who can limit their involvement and enjoy the game. Avoid tenacious “extreme lovers” who thrive on difficult and unrequited affection. Your attempts to keep the relationship casual would be exhausting.

Best match:
Good-time and Checklist

If your partner is a playful lover:
Don't let yourself get too emotionally involved or expect any kind of exclusivity - it will lead only to heartache. But if you're up for it, enjoy the ride.

Famous playful lovers:
Wanting “absolute freedom”, the irrepressible rake Colin Farrell becomes “restless and bored with someone who never asks questions, changes or surprises” him, preferring a partner who keeps him “guessing”.
Think of Samantha in Sex and the City.

YELLOW: STEADY LOVER
For you, love is a gentle journey.

Without any great sense of urgency, you are not one for all-night sessions to get to know your partner inside out. Instead, by doing things together and building understanding, your relationships tend to evolve at their own pace. Yours is a slow-burning love.

Your calm love can withstand pressures that would cause others to crumble, from long spells of absence to temporary indiscretions. While you may not seek the highs of wild passion, you are also less likely to be laid low by romantic tumult. With fewer campaigns to fight and wounds to heal, your relationships are more often characterised by comfort and contentment. You are best matched with like-minded people with whom to share routine and companionship.

Without the need for emotionally exhausting love, you may choose to avoid the “passionate” and “extreme” lovers. What you see as stable, they may see as dull. Alternatively, you may be the rock they need, and they may provide the crazy passion that you enjoy tasting.

Best match:
Steady and Unconditional

If your partner is a steady lover:
Take it slow. Your relationship will grow naturally over time; it's your mutual interests that will bond you.

Famous steady lover:
Sharing her recipes for meatballs and garlic bread on her website goop.com, Gwyneth Paltrow is more a picture of domesticity than a party girl.

PURPLE: EXTREME LOVER
For you, love is all-consuming.

As an extreme lover, you tend to find relationships a source of life-affirming passion and soul-destroying heartache. For you, love is like a roller coaster.

You may find it hard to relax and enjoy your relationship, being gripped with the fear of losing your partner and spending hours turning the relationship over in your mind, looking for signs that they don't really love you (and discounting any that show they do). Warmth from them brings relief but no lasting satisfaction. Indeed, you may sometimes feel that your appetite for affection is insatiable. It is.

You may know that your possessiveness is self-defeating but you can't help feeling it - and showing it. Far too in love to play it cool, you can find yourself acting against your better judgment, racked with jealousy and extremes of emotion.

While the “steady lover” type may have the patience to calm your insecurities, they may grow weary of the emotional turmoil that you bring to the relationship.

To find lasting satisfaction you must first find the source of your neediness - a lack of close connections? Discontentment or low self-esteem. Avoid the “playful lover” types. Their detachment will press all the wrong buttons, causing you distress.

Best match:
Unconditional and Passionate

If your partner is an extreme lover:
Give them lots of reassurance and remember that their suspicions and doubts are all about them, not you.

Famous extreme lover:
Kirsten Dunst described ex-boyfriends such as Jake Gyllenhaal as “possessive” men who started to resent the time that she spent with her family.

GREEN: CHECKLIST LOVER
For you, love is about compatibility. Above all, there needs to be a good match: age, education, interests, occupation, income, religion, background. While your list may include some physical characteristics, you are likely to place a greater emphasis on social qualities, eg, charisma, intelligence, ambition, stability.

You are likely to be drawn to personal ads, online dating and dates arranged by mutual friends because they help you to eliminate the misfits quickly. Once you have found a partner who meets your criteria, you will allow passion to flourish. Until then you are unlikely to commit fully.
You will apply this almost Darwinian approach to mate selection until you find the “right” partner; then you are likely to settle down/marry them.

You are best suited to other “checklist lovers”. When you find each other, you are likely to stay together because of the careful assessment that each of you has made - unless you lose, say, your looks, your fortune or your sense of humour, in which case, watch out.

When you find someone, they are likely to be the “right” one. Be careful not to set your standards impossibly high.

Best match:
Checklist and Good- time

If your partner is a checklist lover:
The early stage of your relationship will be like an interview process. Have answers prepared to show your best side and don't be put off by what may feel like an interrogation. If the situation changes, discuss it openly: I've lost my job and that changes the balance in this relationship; how does that make you feel?

Famous checklist lover: Rumored to interview prospective partners before settling down with Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise claimed: “A couple of hours after meeting her, I thought, ‘I'm going to marry this woman.' I just knew. She is funny and smart and likes the same things that I do.”

PINK: UNCONDITIONAL LOVER
For you, loving someone unconditionally and completely is a joyful responsibility.

You feel blessed to have found love (when you do) and are willing to ride out even the toughest times with your partner without expecting to receive much in return.

Your sense of obligation to care for those you love is an expression of will more than of emotion. You see marriage as a sacred trust - a lifelong commitment requiring responsibility and self- discipline.
Your affection is constant with little sign of possessiveness, jealousy or resentment. Instead you tend to be gentle, respectful, caring and generous to your partner and, most of the time, to anyone else in need.

Because you seek nothing in return, you are best matched with other “unconditional lovers” who would never take advantage of your selflessness, although your love will also flourish with most other types (who are lucky to have found you).The love styles to watch out for are: “checklist lovers” whose calculated approach could exploit your giving nature; and “good-time lovers” who may leave you once they have had their pleasure.

Best match:
Unconditional and Steady

If your partner is an unconditional lover: Give back. Resist the urge to fall into a comfortable pattern of receiving. Take too much and you will burn them out.

Famous unconditional lover:
After allegations that he had a seven-year fling, loyal wife Tana put on a brave face to present a united front with her husband, Gordon Ramsay.

On Pointe @)~~

3:19 PM